time and space (1/2/6)
Being away from her is tantamount to torture and the
disproportionate degree to which time accelerates in her presence and slows in
her absence is nothing less than cruel. She left here less than an hour ago and
with her went all of that welcomed warmth and passion she brings to me, along
with the profound perception that all might indeed be right with the world,
leaving me behind with that same intense restlessness and unrelenting longing I
felt before she arrived. I bounce between her picture and the pillow on her bed,
breathing in any remaining, lingering scent left by the one I love, the one who
laid next to me only hours before. While with her this time I tried desperately
to drink in every experience of her being; her light blue eyes, her soft, white
skin, the curve of her neck, the touch of her hands, the shape of her exquisite
back; hoping to file away even the slightest suggestion of these sensations in
order to have something to hold onto when she's not here. But already I know
that my attempts to store away any moments of our time together is futile; for
already these memories and images, however much treasured, afford me little
comfort. The result of having freely given so much of my heart to her is that,
when I am not with her, much of my heart is left empty.
And time itself has proven itself to be an adversary here, for when we're
together, it races by us in an instant, while when we're apart it slows to an
agonizing crawl. And once again having been rushed through our most recent, all
too brief encounter, I am finding myself once again alone and missing her
horribly with every passing moment. Perhaps this time I have unwittingly
discovered a somewhat sardonic solution to the mystery of immortality; for times
of bliss and passion clearly seem to go by in an instant while periods of want
and loneliness seem to stretch on forever. Well, if this is true, and I can
either live immortal but without her, I'd just as soon not; for I'd rather go
quickly, lost in her arms, than to have to endure many more of these miserable
moments we spend apart.