[Let me preface this by saying that some of my best friends happen to be heterosexuals (not that there's anything wrong with that) but I usually find that I have a lot more fun in the company of gay men than I do straight ones. Granted the fun we have is non-sexual (try as I may - although I never really have - I have never been interested in men sexually, only women, and now even that's changed for I'm only attracted to one), but I have generally found that gay men are more clever, more creative and all around funnier than straight men (sorry straight brothers but you know it's true). So whenever I happen to learn that a famous celebrity whom I've always admired was (or is) gay, I'm never shocked nor disappointed by the discovery. Quite the opposite in fact. That said...]



Lawrence Olivier was gay, or at the least bisexual (for clearly he and Vivian Leigh were a pretty passionate couple during their affair and in the early part of their marriage - but MY God, a dead man would wanna do Vivian Leigh!). Even though he remained married to Vivian for twenty years, divorcing her to marry actress Joan Plowright (who he remained with until his death), he never lost his attraction for other men. Of his homosexual affairs, two of are particular note, the first being with famed actor, playwright and composer Sir Noel Coward. Lord Larry dated Sir Noel for two years on and off and remained friends long afterwards, but their affair ended when Olivier suddenly met and fell for the man of his dreams, a man he was with exclusively for over ten years (and would have been with much longer had not wife Joan insisted that they stop). And who was this man, the love of his life? None other than my own personal Lord and Savior, the great Danny Kaye.

So Danny Kaye was gay too? Well, I have no problem with that either. In fact, it makes perfect sense for he was talented, charming and gentle and moved with a delicate grace uncommon to most men. And that would certainly explain his marriage to the somewhat manly Sylvia Fine, who seemed more his manager and composer than his lover or mate.

So I have no trouble at all with knowing and accepting the sexual preference of these two stars, nor do I have any problem at all accepting Olivier and Coward together; it's almost as if they were cut from the same cloth - British, wry and full of class; but Larry and Danny? Lovers?! Jeez!

I can't even picture them in the same room together, let alone in the same bed! Try it yourself: first, something easy - try and imagine them in the same movie... (Having trouble? Well, it only gets harder from here!). Now picture them naked and aroused and wrapped in each other's arms and whispering sweet nothings in each other's ear...just what the hell could they say to each other?!

"I am Heathcliff! I love a woman who belongs to another man!... My love was fierce... my hate is burning! I will have vengeance!"

"Well, I'm Hans Christian Anderson, with many a tale to tell..."

"I am torn by Desire... tortured by hate!"

"Inchworm...inchworm..."

"Oooh baby!"


See what I mean?

 

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